Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

Huh? I am just saying $6k is low salary...

Just checked that the median household income is $7,570 in 2012.

Then I earn 2.5k even worse ... Miserable

[volcano]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Then I earn 2.5k even worse ... Miserable

wah bro...so pathetic sia...little bro here earning millions everyday............but in VND lah....

[JCLane]

Just to share some observations on having vn partners on home-bound trip:

- never let her go home on her own for long period, she must go & leave together with you
- never pass her a bunch of $ to spend at Vn during the home bound trip, you control bit by bit - so you know how much goes out the pocket at what rate (=speed, I mean)
- once they learn (sure this would be the case) about sending $ home, you will be sending money while she's there even for a short period - You will be wondering why are they spending so high/fast..at such a low-cost place - & it's costlier than a day's expenditure in Sg/My by multiple times. (they don't care about the exchange rate or how much you gonna loss using the rate at Western Union or any money-transfer agency).

Hope these are useful...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by JCLane

Just to share some observations on having vn partners on home-bound trip:

- never let her go home on her own for long period, she must go & leave together with you
- never pass her a bunch of $ to spend at Vn during the home bound trip, you control bit by bit - so you know how much goes out the pocket at what rate (=speed, I mean)
- once they learn (sure this would be the case) about sending $ home, you will be sending money while she's there even for a short period - You will be wondering why are they spending so high/fast..at such a low-cost place - & it's costlier than a day's expenditure in Sg/My by multiple times. (they don't care about the exchange rate or how much you gonna loss using the rate at Western Union or any money-transfer agency).

Hope these are useful...

Why cannot let bx go home to vn alone?
Why cannot pass bx $$$ to spend in vn?

you should have budgeted and pass her the amount to spend. Over spend is her biz liao. then no need worry about sending money back to bx to spend.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by kasain

To bro KangTuo: I hear you,

How do i handle this situation Besides breaking up??

I only say listen to her...not me

besides breaking up.... you can bring her to sillypore, marry her and keep her at home

[JCLane]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

Why cannot let bx go home to vn alone?
Why cannot pass bx $$$ to spend in vn?

you should have budgeted and pass her the amount to spend. Over spend is her biz liao. then no need worry about sending money back to bx to spend.

- too many amorous con gai & con chai; even the best kwai kwai bx will be 'taken' if you do not oversee it, esp influence from the 'good frens' (or relatives!!) around them while u are not there. This is so true watching (!) all my frens' bx happening back home... (All - 5 cases! None stay kwai-kwai once they touch down..) . Those con-gai, con-chai knew the bx is available to tackle + $ is loaded & no responsibility on their part thereafter... As a follow-up one of them even 'import' her guy to Sg for 2 days of tryst, buying him gift & new Iphone...without the hubby knowing - right under his nose!! (He thought she was staying over at her single female colleague's rented room..which is the case occassionally if working late in the shop).

- the relative will 'gang together' not letting you know. They give all sorts of excuse that your bx is out, away at another relative home faraway, the phone is spoilt/no credit/no signal. Never trust relatives - none is trustable.

- Yes, can hand over the limit. Subsequent phone call/sms will be "the common excuses". Even send pixs via Viber/Whatsapp/Line... One can decide send or not after viewing the pixs - the ongxa bearing the bad-or-good outcome thereafter.

Too many of the happenings & hearing from those vn ger frens back here itself (gasp!...they gossip & share fotos, FB!), really it is best to take precaution & control the situation before knowing it too late.

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by JCLane

Too many of the happenings & hearing from those vn ger frens back here itself (!...they gossip & share fotos, FB!), really it is best to take precaution & control the situation before knowing it too late.

If there is so many doubts in marriage, why marry? Life will be miserable if u worry about her doing this n that. Might as well stay single, stay together, have sex regularly than tie the knot.... u are marrying someone u love and not keep her as a pet.

[JCLane]

Originally Posted by naemlo

If there is so many doubts in marriage, why marry? Life will be miserable if u worry about her doing this n that. Might as well stay single, stay together, have sex regularly than tie the knot.... u are marrying someone u love and not keep her as a pet.

yes by all means getting married is ok.

It's the control bit I'm referring to. Too many such happenings it is better to be aware than not. Doesn't want this kind of things to damage the situation while it takes time to build a relationship. Once it's damage, very difficult to patch. The trust level goes rock bottom...

[volcano]

Originally Posted by JCLane

yes by all means getting married is ok.

It's the control bit I'm referring to. Too many such happenings it is better to be aware than not. Doesn't want this kind of things to damage the situation while it takes time to build a relationship. Once it's damage, very difficult to patch. The trust level goes rock bottom...

so are u meaning that u marry ur wife when the relationship is not build yet???

u sounds that all VN gals look bad,if thats the case then why u marry one and had to give urself so many restrictions and rules to it??

from my opinion,not all VN gals are bad,maybe just happen that those u know are.i have been together with my wife for 5 years.i have never restrict her on money issues,she has free access to my account through the ATM card and i have given her a supplementary card of 20 mills credit.she has never use her sup card and ATM card before although its always in her wallet.she attends school from 7.30am to 3pm...spends less then 200k per day which includes her 2 meals outside,motorbike parking,groceries bought back for dinner.

not all are bad,i am sure many bros here have excellent wife as well.

[JCLane]

Originally Posted by volcano

so are u meaning that u marry ur wife when the relationship is not build yet???

u sounds that all VN gals look bad,if thats the case then why u marry one and had to give urself so many restrictions and rules to it??

from my opinion,not all VN gals are bad,maybe just happen that those u know are.i have been together with my wife for 5 years.i have never restrict her on money issues,she has free access to my account through the ATM card and i have given her a supplementary card of 20 mills credit.she has never use her sup card and ATM card before although its always in her wallet.she attends school from 7.30am to 3pm...spends less then 200k per day which includes her 2 meals outside,motorbike parking,groceries bought back for dinner.

not all are bad,i am sure many bros here have excellent wife as well.

...I mean relationship building takes a while. Any damage is a setback.
Yes, there are bad & good one - no doubt. It's good to be cautious & watch the surrounding - frens & relatives behaviour especially. It just that I happened to see a few of such cases in real.

If one is already into one such marriage, be wary is better than not.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by JCLane

...I mean relationship building takes a while. Any damage is a setback.
Yes, there are bad & good one - no doubt. It's good to be cautious & watch the surrounding - frens & relatives behaviour especially. It just that I happened to see a few of such cases in real.

If one is already into one such marriage, be wary is better than not.

Seriously good sharing ...

Different people operates differently, thinks differently, perceive differently ... No Right n No Wrong ...

However, I can sensed that you are not a frequent traveller to Vietnam ... I also think you also dunno her well plus her family n relatives well ...

That are good n bad gal around ... So what's her background that makes you so wary about ? Or in fact u are wary about Vietnamese ?

Seriously your marriage is based on what ground ? Just curious.

My take is Learn About Them Before Handling n Controlling Them ... Good or Bad ... They are Not as Easy as What you Think ...

[volcano]

Originally Posted by JCLane

...I mean relationship building takes a while. Any damage is a setback.
Yes, there are bad & good one - no doubt. It's good to be cautious & watch the surrounding - frens & relatives behaviour especially. It just that I happened to see a few of such cases in real.

If one is already into one such marriage, be wary is better than not.

these kind of cases happen all around in the world even in Singapore itself..due to bcos lower in number and people tend not to gossip among own people thats why voices are not heard.about 15 years ago,all negative things came from PRC gals and they were called the "crow"...things got past and recent years have been the focused on VN gals..

one point cant be denied is that many such cases happen in Singapore,and there are many reasons behind it,one of the main reason is that the guy know the gal from ktv,pub,massage places etc...majority of these gals main objectives are to find money and not true love..hence they will go for ur pocket first rather then ur heart..(of cos there are also cases of genuine true love which i have seen).

if u stay in Vietnam for sometime,u will know where the trusted gals came from and where are those that only want to dig into ur pocket.

thats always a saying,when u marry a VN gal,u actually marry their whole family..it is neither right nor wrong..for my case is no,but for many others yes.reminder to all bros out there who plan to marry a VN gal..be very sure of if u r marrying ur wife alone or her whole family..unless u r well to do enough to feed everyone..if not,never force urself to accept it as tragedy is always the outcome.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by JCLane

- never let her go home on her own for long period, she must go & leave together with you
- never pass her a bunch of $ to spend at Vn during the home bound trip, you control bit by bit - so you know how much goes out the pocket at what rate (=speed, I mean)
- once they learn (sure this would be the case) about sending $ home, you will be sending money while she's there even for a short period - You will be wondering why are they spending so high/fast..at such a low-cost place - & it's costlier than a day's expenditure in Sg/My by multiple times. (they don't care about the exchange rate or how much you gonna loss using the rate at Western Union or any money-transfer agency).

thank you for your reminders...what you had mentioned here...I had issued this warning many times in this thread although the wordings may not be the same but meaning is same same...

still I believe VB makes a good wifey if you knew where to get good ones...if you married those who came to work in Sinkie as WL then what you warned above may come true very soon...

[JCLane]

hi bros, thanks for the sharing. These are all serious thoughts.

By the way, the 5 cases I came across - all are normal VN gers, from their village or city. None of these are WL, past or present.

good luck, guys.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by JCLane

By the way, the 5 cases I came across - all are normal VN gers, from their village or city. None of these are WL, past or present.

you knew they are village/city gals but you dun know their past working and/or current work because you hearsay...heresay is no use....never trust them...