All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

[pete_the_fish]

Originally Posted by Big Sexy

My spouse and I got married overseas/My spouse and I have not lived in Singapore for many years--can we still get a divorce in the Singapore courts?


You can get a divorce in the Singapore courts even if you got married overseas, or if you do not live in Singapore, so long as:

(a) Either you or your spouse has lived in Singapore for a period of 3 years just before your divorce proceedings start; or

(b) Either you or your spouse is "domiciled" in Singapore at the start of your divorce proceedings, i.e. that Singapore is your permanent home. A Singapore citizen and a Singapore permanent resident is assumed to be "domiciled" in Singapore, unless the contrary is proved.

But even if you can prove one or both of the above factors, your spouse may argue that it would be more appropriate for the divorce proceedings to be dealt with in another country, for various reasons, for example, because you are both citizens of that country, and are intending to return there to live permanently in a short while.

My spouse and I (both singaporean) got married overseas (marriage not registered in sg) . We are now living in singapore for many years. If I decide to divorce her, is she protected under women's charter?

[elephanto]

Dear Bros,

In the midst of much pain, I hope some bros can enlightened me.

I am married for coming to 7 years now.
Because we married in our late 30s, both of us already owned resale hdb flats with our parents name.

The original plan was she agree to live with me & my mum after marriage, sell both flats & apply for new Hdb flat togather (never enjoy subsidy b4 single).

so wife stayed with me & my mum for 2 years. subsquently, she refused to sell her own place for sentimental reasons. My mum won't want to move into her house so stay put in my house. so, I live with my wife in her house for the past few years - & both of us each pay for our own hdb commitments. Actually, HDB rules are that we have to sell one of them but the whole thing just dragged.

My wife earn more than me & perhaps this marriage was a mistake in the 1st place & love couldn't win against financial stress.

I went into biz with my wife's blessings & financial help. Later, it failed & it's true to owe her money (5 figure sum).

To her credit, she was very angry & wanted a seperation - later we got back together. I took a low paying telesales job to rebuild confidence.

3 years back - wife health not good, we went though thick & thin.

Then in early 2006, saw her internet banking records of H81 bill (wife trust me to handle bill payments etc). I was shocked but 4give her when she said at the last minute, she regretted & didn't cross the line.

It is very painful to recall & relate.

so, i'll just summarize - I admit I am a lousy husband who failed in biz (some more with her $). Another anguish is due to medical condition of both of us, we tried to have kids but failed. My wife is very maternal & this is a sore pt to her. she wanted to adopt in 2006, but by then, her poor health & my low income (we are in fact shouldering 2 HDB household commitments serparately) & ashamed to say has no savings & live month to month.

So, I do not support her to adopt & she has not 4given me to this day. I want to adopt too but must face facts mah....sigh!

Adultery when not the 1-nite-stand type follows a process : intro, acquainted, chemistry & attraction, long & regular phone calls, secretive dates, got feelings oredy - then naturally cross the line.

In late 2006, this happen to me. I find myself getting no answers from her for her changed behaviour - she accused me of being insecure/ unreasonable. I find myself secretly checking her sms & email - what's new ? I discover all the lovey-dovey, special nite out etc.

so, wife turn on me that I invade her privacy.....

Later that guy (married man), marriage broke down, but don't blame my wife. He also not serious one - slowly drift apart.

I 4give(?) my wife when she later admitted to affair. But can see she really into him (from reading her dairy entries).

Meantime, we resume going to church but wife refuse marriage counelling.

Our married life sucks - we dont do things together. She is a hairstylist so weekend she works I am left alone. Weekdays, she work back after 9pm. sometimes, 10+ pm.

We are constantly making ends meet from month to month.

Recently, a new man in her life. So obvious - she would open be on the phone at nite with him in my presence - to show she has nothing to hide.
But the flirtatious tone, making dating arrangements hurt me until I have to leave room to go bedroom & sleep.

Then she start to mix truths & half-truths. When I secretly checked her sms & phone records, gosh same man !

Things come to breakpoint recently. she again bring up the past, how the marriage no security to her etc So, I said then set you free then - no need for you to start all your deception again.

She flare when she heard me say I look into her email & sms. Said she would sue me for invading her privacy - want to divorce, kick me out of her house asap etc etc. Her family memebers are lawyers - she would sue me to pay her back what I owe her.

I told her then sue me for bankrupcy then. I have no savings or asets & I will not sell my HDB flat (in my own name now my dad has passed away) as my old mum still need a roof.)

I threaten that if she go for broke, then I will tell all - to my mum-in-law, her mum about her late nites (back at 5am, 3am,2am all sorts of time, sometimes not back home - always with excuses - some true some lies).

Anyway, I have moved back to my own HDB flat & live with my mum again.

I am very ashamed of my own inadequacies - my marriage has been a mistake, my wife deserve better & should be set free long ago - why should I have used her $ b4 ?

Now haunting me is:-
(1) There is no IOUs. When in happier times, my wife was even director of my defunct company. All the $ she helped me with in business, can she really sue me to repay her? But it was all hubby-wife-no-coercion, loan wasn't even mentioned in those days?

(2) Can my wife sue me for that & make me bankrupt? Can I refuse to sell my own HDB flat?

(3) No kids, no matrimonial assets, 2 HDB flats from our single days in our own name. Divorce should be straightforward after seperation if both parties do not wish to contest right ?

(4) Car loan still outstanding - car is hers in her name - she pays the monthly instalment, but last year she very tight, so I pay for her rd tax & insurance thru monthly giro instalment. But I am the car loan guarantor.

Hope this is not a dead thread.

Hope to receive advice from kind bros here.

Thks !

[Big Sexy]

1. little worry on that...She needs to provide solid proof if she is to get back the money, which she doesn't have..

2. i dont understand this part.. sue you for??? for invading her privacy????
No she cannot make you a bankrupt for that... do the unspoken rule la... deny it...

3. no need..if both are willing party.....

4. i dont know what you want to know here....

5. what she deserve is a role in Silence of the LAMB part 2.

Originally Posted by elephanto

Dear Bros,

Now haunting me is:-
(1) There is no IOUs.

(2) Can my wife sue me for that & make me bankrupt?

(3)if both parties do not wish to contest right ?

(4) Car loan still outstanding - car is hers in her name - she pays the monthly instalment, but last year she very tight, so I pay for her rd tax & insurance thru monthly giro instalment. But I am the car loan guarantor.

5) my wife deserve better & should be set free long ago

Thks !

[elephanto]

Thank you Bro BigSexy for your quick reply !

There is no IOU, but can they like go to the bank get statement printout from 2002/2003.... nah, hard evidence very messy.

Fact is: should I deny - which I find very hard but it's the truth.
But its also true I can't repay her & I feel it is part & parcel of sharing burdens on a free-consent basis between spouses right ? sigh!

What saddens me is yes, while I have been a lousy husband in terms of financial security - I didnt commit adultery vs her.

I told her after the last affair, dun play games & practise deception again. If you want to start new relationships end ourselves & I'll gladly free you.

But trust takes time to rebuild - so leading double lives, lies etc can't work. We are all adults - anything suspicious of course I will check her sms/email even if I am not proud of it.

What frustrate me if to my repeated questions, she never could answer me why the lies & half truths if all she does is aboveboard - yet always turn it around & hold it against me for the lesser evil of prying into her records.

sad as it is - I guess have to move on despite good times in the past.
When no more love, to carry on is a torture for both of us....

[Big Sexy]

1. No they cannot.. statement can only prove she did withdrew the money.. but it doesnt say what happened to the money, how it was used..

2. if u choose to give in.. then there is really nothing anyone can do to help your case... otherwise there is very little she can hold against you.

Originally Posted by elephanto

T

There is no IOU, but can they like go to the bank get statement printout from 2002/2003.... nah, hard evidence very messy.

[aces68]

Bros, I have posted my problem before on another thread but I would like to gather more opinion from samsters who know about the details of divorce proceedings :-

My wife and I have been legally married for 9 years.

Our problem is that I want kids (my own) but she doesn't because she does not want to go through childbirth. After many discussions, she ask me to leave her if I insist to have own kids. So, I am contemplating the issue now becos I'm not getting younger and feel that I have wasted my years with her in frustration.

1. Are my grounds for divorce legally recognised ? (As in I want kids, but she don't want) ?
2. She's working, so do I have to pay maintenance ? What is the likely amount of maintenance the judge will award ? I earn about 7k and she earns about 5k.
3. I have been supporting most of her expenses all these years. Eg. she uses a supplementary credit card paid by me, phone bills GIRO to my account. Will these be considered by the judge when deciding maintenance amount ?
4. We have 2 private properties, one is fully paid up, another one on mortgage. How will these 2 assets be divided ?
5. How about other assets such as cash in bank, shares; how will these be divided ?

Hope some bros can enlightened me. Tks in advance.

[Big Sexy]

ok a quick one..

1. Marriage does not includes having a child. so it is not a valid ground for filing for divorce.

2. Yes, irregardless of whether she is working. amount differs for everyone.. there is no standard package.

3. Yes... and that mean she is likely to continue to enjoy the lifestyle and you will have to continue to sponsor it by paying more maintenance...

4. depends on how paid for it.. and whose name is on the deeds.

5. likewise... see 4.

Originally Posted by aces68

1. Are my grounds for divorce legally recognised ? (As in I want kids, but she don't want) ?

[king_georgebush]

What men need today, just like life insurance policy or disclaimer policy, is to get an insurance policy against divorce. That way when the "unlikely" event of divorce happens, then the legal costs and maintenance issues can be settled.

[dauf]

Since the women charter applies to any Singaporean men regardless if he marries a local or non-local wife either in the ROM here or abroad, does it mean that if the man give up his Singapore citizenship, he'll not be bound under this law?

If so, does it matter if he relinquish the citizenship while they are still married and then divorce later, so as to avoid the law totally during the divorce.

OR do so after the divorce and be free from the ongoing maintainence that is already imposed? That is, if a man is serving this WC order, can he stop this by giving up his citizenship?

Thank You.

[king_georgebush]

Originally Posted by dauf

Since the women charter applies to any Singaporean men regardless if he marries a local or non-local wife either in the ROM here or abroad, does it mean that if the man give up his Singapore citizenship, he'll not be bound under this law?

If so, does it matter if he relinquish the citizenship while they are still married and then divorce later, so as to avoid the law totally during the divorce.

OR do so after the divorce and be free from the ongoing maintainence that is already imposed? That is, if a man is serving this WC order, can he stop this by giving up his citizenship?

Thank You.

I dont think that is possible. She can still make claim against you even if you change citizenship and migrate. She can serve you notice any country because its a money suit. Its hard to escape, yet some people do. There are thousands of divorced men paying maintenance, but government has no time to chase them all the time.

They go some country, become citizen and change name.

[snakehead]

Thw WC applies to everyone resident in Singapore regardless of whether they are citizens, PRs or foreigners. However, Singapore is NOT a signatory to the Hague convention so it is only enforceable in Singapore..... that is why many leave Singapore to avoid complying with the court orders.

There is no need to change identity or take cover cause it is not a crime outside of singapore. What the court can do is issue a warrant and you will be arrested if you ever step into Singapore again.

So if you want to run road.... make sure you dun come back.

[snakehead]

Originally Posted by 84gunner

It seems that SG's laws have been changed to protect the women even more, outrageously shielding the women even if it's obvious adultery! And simply making the men become easier chai tao!

What else would you expect when the committee in charge of the Womens Charter compriese of mainly female lawyers

Originally Posted by 84gunner

If it happened to me, u can bet that I will kill the slut, then commit suicide!

That's the spirit! First kill the slut then the judge but dun commit suicide..... we need people like you to raise negative publicity about the f**king WC.... maybe your case might be the one that gets it amended

F*CK the WOMENS CHARTER!!!

bro snakehead

[dauf]

Originally Posted by king_georgebush

I dont think that is possible.

Bro king, are you very sure or just think so?

Please don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for any response rendered to my questions but this is critical for me. I need to be very sure of a YES or NO answer whether giving up the citizenship, perhaps now, means that the WC will not apply to me there after when I pursue a divorce.

And to further qualify my situation in case some bros read the above out of context, I married a PRC women in China ROM. So I'm hoping that a non-Sg (after I give up citizenship) divorcing another non-Sg (PRC) will not land me in the WC shit. I can divorce back in China if that helps too.

Originally Posted by snakehead

Thw WC applies to everyone resident in Singapore regardless of whether they are citizens, PRs or foreigners.

Bro snakehead, now this is a bit new to what I've read around here. Are you saying that the WC will apply to even a foreigner who married a non-Sg women but both reside in Singapore?

I had the impression that it applies to Singaporean MEN who marry a women of any nationality. Is the primary condition not the "Singaprean men" if it's not as long as we marry a "Singarean women"?

So I'm confused now, it seems like the WC applies in all sort of combinations, nationality and locality-wise?

My ultimate motive is to avoid the WC legally, and am prepared to pay any price for it except to share half of what I have with a women I now hate.

[snakehead]

Originally Posted by dauf

And to further qualify my situation in case some bros read the above out of context, I married a PRC women in China ROM. So I'm hoping that a non-Sg (after I give up citizenship) divorcing another non-Sg (PRC) will not land me in the WC shit. I can divorce back in China if that helps too..

PRCs.... those are the worse kind of $$$suckers.... but i believe you might have a better outcome divorcing there than in SG.

Originally Posted by dauf

Are you saying that the WC will apply to even a foreigner who married a non-Sg women but both reside in Singapore?

I had the impression that it applies to Singaporean MEN who marry a women of any nationality. Is the primary condition not the "Singaprean men" if it's not as long as we marry a "Singarean women"?

So I'm confused now, it seems like the WC applies in all sort of combinations, nationality and locality-wise?

Bro dauf.... the nationalities of the parties involved does not matter but whether the courts here have jurisdiction to hear your divorce.... and one of the conditions is that the appellent MUST have resided in singapore for XX number of days.

Even if both of you are foreigners, your marriage is registered in Timbuktu and you only arrived in singapore recently but have the required number of days..... you are eligible to file for divorce here and kenna terok terok by the WC.

My advice is dun contest the divorce coz you will be on the losing side..... do what many of the smart bros have done...... cash out your assets, move your funds offshore, rack up as much debt as you can and fuck off from this little red dot forever.

bro snakehead

[carfield]

i hv not been marriage 4 3yrs so can i divorce n how i can do it e faster ways....