📖 The Journal of Iris 📖

[Iryiris]

Originally Posted by DJMixologist

Wish you all the best. Put the past behind and come out stronger than ever! Cheers 😉

Thank you

[Socratis]

Please continue .... support

[Iryiris]

My Ex - When Greeds Filled In

He had made his decision. He chosen her over me. Just because, she was rich even that's no love involved. And to add up the condition, he has to keep up her sex life as she wanted to. He even admitted they actually had sex on that night where i caught them in orchard. The lady came out with condition and he obeyed her. I was devastated. I was holding back my tears as i still in the middle of my work. I blamed myself for not being rich, couldn't be able to help him. I wish him all the best with her and didn't wanna talked anymore. I didn't know who to turned to at that point of time. I was in a dazed at my work desk. My dept didn't had any partitions to divide desk by desk. It was opened concept. I couldn't cried as everyone would able to see. It seemed like i going mind blanked and voices around me became like i was in a black deep hole, it echoed around my ears. Like dolby surround. Somehow my colleague aka my mentor, whom beside me realised something was wrong with me. Somehow i couldn't concentrated what she wanted me to do. She asked me are you ok. I looked at her, my tears filled my eyes and said, *I I just broke up." She urged me to go to the ladies. When we were in the toilet, she asked me what happened and i told her about it. At that point of time, i guess that's no such thing about confining your own problem only to your close ones. I couldn't held my emotion anymore and cried out. She passed me tissues after tissues to wipe off my tears and consoled me. She was much older than me so she had her life experience too. Nah it not like very old, she was already in her 30s when i knew her. She told me treated it as a blessing in disguise. At least i witnessed what kind of man he was and it was only a few months. Unlike hers, was years before realised he was a jerk. She told me to stop crying and distracted my concentration in work instead of crying over a jerk. We went out and did our respective work. I guess some of my colleagues saw my puffy eyes but they didn't questioned me. I guess my mentor did privately told them bah. Told them not to disturb me much. At the same time, i did message my bff back then, S. I think i messaged my bro's back then gf, R (i did mention her before in previous post regards to my bro depression) or other way round. S without hesitation wanted to meet me after work. R asked me whether i need any companion or need someone to talk. I told her i would be meeting S (R knew about S as my bff but they didn't saw each other before) at the mall near to my workplace and asked her whether she would want to join. R and me worked near to each other so she agreed to meet after work.

It time for lunch. My mentor asked me along with another colleague, SM. We went out for lunch instead. Usually my mentor would lunched in as our office had a canteen at lower floor. I think she wanted me to go out and had some fresh air. If i could remembered, i had wanton mee and i think they had rice. They ordered another plate of charsiews with roasted pork. I was kinda quiet throughout and had my lunch. I had not much appetite actually. She kept gaving me the charsiews and roasted pork. Saying it meant for me. She told SM this silly gal just had her brokeup and we had to cheer her up. He said "you want to hear my jokes or not?" I looked at him, rolled my eyes with a weak smile. SM was known as our joker in our dept. His jokes would sent me laughing my head off and they had to shut my down lol. My mentor said don't think about him le. You still have us. I really appreciated that really. It like i only there working for a few months yet they cared. We finished our lunch and I wanted to pay for my portion and the shared one. SM said don't have to, it his treat. I thanked him and we went back to the office.

Soon, it knocked off time. I headed my way to the mall to meet S and R. R met up with me first as S still need to travel from her workplace. We settled at a cafe for our dinner and drinks. I told R about what happened. Soon, S arrived and joined us. Story repeated again (lol) to S. Both really pissed of L had did to me. I told R not to mention to my bro. Afraid he would find L and taught him a lesson. Soon, it time to go home as still had to work the next day. We parted our ways. The journey to home seemed to be a miserable one. I was alone and memories and thoughts came flowing to my mind. I felt like crying again. My HP beeped and i opened it. It was L, asking how was my day. I replied back why he still wanted to message me when we were already over. He said he still concerned about me and he had no choice to make that decision. I told him he already hurt me and what else he wants now. I didn't wanna be a 3rd party or something along that line. He said his heart still with me and he still wanted to see me. We still can meet up for dinner or drinks. I said for what, still wanna see me or have sex with me. He already chosen her and she wanted him to satisfy her on her basis already. Why still need me. He replied that he forcing himself to have sex with her and he doesn't even love her. It not something he wanted to. I couldn't helped him too in financial and he already on the verged. Ya my fault again *rolled eyes*. I told him he chosen her and it end of story. If he loves me, he wouldn't made this decision. I just wanna let this feeling go, so i could move on. At the same time, S and R messaged me, asking me not to think too much. R warned me not to do silly stuffs, my parents would be heartbroken if i did. I told her no matter what, i won't. Soon, i reached home. I just wanted to let it go but could i?

The truth was, it didn't stopped here.

>>>>To be continued.....

[i^Xi0n]

interesting and nicely written story TS, great share and please do keep it coming.

[justkeepriding]

Originally Posted by i^Xi0n

interesting and nicely written story TS, great share and please do keep it coming.

dont think its a story. poor TS. that feeling when someone u care just abandons u is really fk*d up. cheer up ts! many more who deserve you.

[Iryiris]

Originally Posted by justkeepriding

dont think its a story. poor TS. that feeling when someone u care just abandons u is really fk*d up. cheer up ts! many more who deserve you.

Nah it not a friction or a story. It my true encounter that i have mentioned before. Those who follow my thread will know why i in this trade and part of the reason was him.

[justkeepriding]

Originally Posted by Iryiris

Nah it not a friction or a story. It my true encounter that i have mentioned before. Those who follow my thread will know why i in this trade and part of the reason was him.

yeh can know its true story too. well. we all (guys or girls) do have that 1 ex who just squeeze our wallets to the max and leave us hanging. hate having institutions chase us over debts which are nt ours but what can we do. at lease its possible for you to do this to cover the debts. some of us cant do this. kinda envy you. good luck in everything Iris!

[Angelique]

Interesting. Keep it coming.

[Iryiris]

Originally Posted by justkeepriding

yeh can know its true story too. well. we all (guys or girls) do have that 1 ex who just squeeze our wallets to the max and leave us hanging. hate having institutions chase us over debts which are nt ours but what can we do. at lease its possible for you to do this to cover the debts. some of us cant do this. kinda envy you. good luck in everything Iris!

I bo bian have to do this as circumstances forcing me to. I'm not sure are u a bro or sis as you were saying some of them can't do this. I assured guy la hor lol. Possible guys to do this? Yes, there are but the market is smaller than gals. Their pricing are higher too even though looks are just so so. Yet, the demand is there cos not many guys are doing this compare to gals.

[justkeepriding]

Originally Posted by Iryiris

I bo bian have to do this as circumstances forcing me to. I'm not sure are u a bro or sis as you were saying some of them can't do this. I assured guy la hor lol. Possible guys to do this? Yes, there are but the market is smaller than gals. Their pricing are higher too even though looks are just so so. Yet, the demand is there cos not many guys are doing this compare to gals.

bo pien need keep one leg kicking to survive too. highly doubt any market for guy even. btw ur right.

[AhKong69]

OP means original poster or the person who started the thread😁

[AhKong69]

Originally Posted by Iryiris

Happy belated new year to u too. But, what is OP ah 🤔?

Means original poster. Or the person that started this thread. 😁

[Iryiris]

Originally Posted by AhKong69

Means original poster. Or the person that started this thread. 😁

Oh ok, cos usually the common one is TS. 1st time saw OP hehe.

[chaoturtle]

Very nice write up!! Waiting for the next update...

[Iryiris]

https://www.xiami.com/song/179943?_u...D9990B3D51A534

F.I.R. - 我们的爱
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is 1 song that i afraid to sing in KTV. It not i dislike it but i will end up crying halfway if i do so. During the time when L & me faced issues, this is the song that been playing. I have already done over him now but still, i dare not sing this song or really listen to it unless it plays over radio or someone sings in KTV. I thank those that leave messages to me and encourage me. Don't worry that i still haven't get over him but the fact is i already did. The person i haven't really get over totally currently, is not him though. Will try to elaborate more in future if i have the time.

My Ex - It's Complicated

After few days to a week or so (I couldn't remembered the duration as it happened so long ago), he messaged me again. In fact, he had been messaged me often. He wanted to meet me but i was holding back. It not i didn't wanna see him it, what would it leaded to if so? After persisted for days, i finally agreed to meet him. Before we met, i asked him where should we meet. He said we can meet at usual place (hotel) if i ok. I was reluctant to do so. We were no longer in BGR status so why would we needed to meet in hotel? He said he promised he wouldn't touched me even in hotel. It just he needed a space to really talk to me without disturbance. I told him we could meet in quieter place if he really wanna talked to me. He was ok with it. Finally the day came and he messaged me the location to meet. Duh, hotel. I really didn't know what his intention. Hacked of it, i just went ahead.

He asked me to go to 1 of the hotel at GL, at particular Lor 1* (Can't state it too obvious, who knows he also 1 of the samsters lol) to wait for him there. So i went over and waited at him outside the lobby. Shortly he came and we checked in. We bought some drinks before our registration. Once inside the room, we opened up our drinks and chatted. I was sitting on the bed and he was sitting on a chair. He told me about his stuffs, how cham he was and he felt sorry to hurt me cos of the gal. I didn't answered him too much as it the final decision of his and nothing could changed it. As we chatted, we became more relaxed and started to joke around. He started to tease me and i poked him on his waist just like how you will tease your own good friends. Ended up we were poking each other and he moved from his chair to the bed. He started to tickled me on my waist and i felt too ticklish and started to struggled here and there while i was in between giggling and laughing. I was fighting against his tickling on me and he was already on top of me. I asked him to stop tickled me from squeaking to pleading. The moment when our eyes met. He stopped and looked at me. His face moved towards me and kissed me. His hands moved to my top and started to move it downwards from my shoulders to my arms. Oh ya i was wearing a sleeveless, v shaped stripes purplish top with denim jean. I told him to stop as this shouldn't happened. He ignored me and continued to caress me. He lowered my bra and started to attack my nipples. I tried to push him away to stop but my frame was small compared to his. He removed my bra and he sat up to removed his top and unzipped his jean. I told him we have to stop but he was too engrossed in his lust. He started to remove my jean away, lied down on top of me and inserted in. He started to thrust against me. I knew i couldn't fought against him and let him did whatever he wanted on me. He carried me up and we were in cowgirl position. I moved my body up and down, my turn to thrust him. He hold my face down and we were frenching while still in cowgirl. He changed his position to doggy and continue to pump me. He pumped harder and harder, my moan got louder and louder and he exploded on my butt. Time was running out and we have to clean up and went off. We bid each other goodbye and went our ways. I was thinking what have i done. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have met him in hotel and things happened. I was feeling guilty of what it just happened yet i didn't bear to stop him as i still loved him.

This kinda 'relationship' last a period of times. The feeling was strange. From gf to ex gf to a confusing stage of being a sex buddy or 3rd party. As for he and that gf of his, they did have sex too. So he was like having the best of both world but the miserable one was me. My status dropped down instead of increasing it. I couldn't messaged him during the weekend as he was with her. My mind couldn't stopped thinking they will be making out during the weekends. It hurt me to the max whenever i thought about it. Crying became my good friend too. It came and went whenever it wanted to visit me. At time i would be drunk and cried when i went clubbing with friends. I no longer in my happy self. That's 1 time during our message i asked him so did he still love me. The answered he gave was he didn't wanted to hurt his gf as she treated me very well. She cooked for him and helped him in debts. He really appreciated her. Seeing that, my world just collapsed. So what were i? A sex doll? Suddenly i felt like a slut. I brought this to myself. Thinking if i gave in, he would changed his mind. But, it backfired. I knew i had to give up but i couldn't did it. I couldn't let go. I willing to suffer as long i could see him. Now thinking back, who knows that was his wife if not a rich girl will cook for him meh? Her house surely got maid lor, still required her to cook. All i can say is, I AM STUPID!

>>>To be continued.......