Happily Married with an ex WL(VN)

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Knn!! you damn flirt lei...simi lang also your ba xa!!

Old man liao, hornier....

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by naemlo

Old man liao, hornier....

ya due to the long lasting effect of the blue pill right?? haha

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by casannova03

ya due to the long lasting effect of the blue pill right?? haha

No pill needed....

[birdie8819]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Knn!! you damn flirt lei...simi lang also your ba xa!!

You're only half right ... kekekeke..... he simi lang/lan also can one ... as long as got hole can liao .

Originally Posted by naemlo

No pill needed....

Ya cause you only 66 divided by 2 niah mah .

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by birdie8819

You're only half right ... kekekeke..... he simi lang/lan also can one ... as long as got hole can liao .

Wrong, must be SYT n not black.

[casannova03]

...Continued

Challenges 2 - Coping with YOUR family (Part 2)

... I think the last scene of my mom holding a chopper sort of sum up my rocky relationship with her.... and it did not improve even till the day of my ROM.

After I left my house, i stayed at a rented apartment with my wife and her friends, like i menetioned earlier. During this period of time, i was all out there on my own, meaning i have to study,worked part time after studies, so that i could pay for the rental and my petrol and living expenses.

Contact with my family was at the minimum, with me and my wife turning up for the occasional birthday dinners of my grandparents and cousins. Even during these occasions, i would not talk to my mom and only to my dad and my brother and sister. Somehow, news spread and my other family members such as my uncles and aunties would come up to me and asked me about what happened and i would have to assure them that all is well.

Well, this 'cold war' between me and my mom was on-going even up to the day of my ROM. This is what happened....

When i have registered for the ROM, I called my dad and told him about it cos i have named him as one of the witnesses for the solemnization day. He asked me if i have considered it properly and i told him yes. Then he asked me to call my mom personally and inform her as a gesture of respect. Well, i did as instructed and informed my mom about it and even discussed about the reception for relatives such as whether to have a buffet reception or not.

Of course there was the usual bickering during the phone conversation but she knew i had made up my mind about it so there was nothing she can do..THEN, one day before the ROM, i called my dad and reminded him that tomorrow was the solemnization and asked him not to forget. He then ask me to remind my mom personally as well....

I did that as well..." Mom, dun forget tomorrow at XX.XXam at ROM ok!"

Her reply shocked me!!!!

"What ROM? how come you never tell me anything about it? You still regard me as your mom?"

"This type of thing so important and you have the cheek to tell me just one day before the ROM! what kind of a son are you?!!"

I erupted!!!

"You dun try to deny it ok, two weeks ago i did call you and inform you ok!!! we even discussed about the buffet reception and now you are trying to say you dun know anything about it?"

Mom:

"No! nothing at all!! and i am telling you I will not be going! neither is your dad for i am not allowing him to go!! "

In the end, my mom did not turn up for the ROM and i asked my dad not to come too. Not because i did not want him to but i know the kind of trouble and dilemna he will be in due to the pressure from my mom. My mom will always blame my dad for spoiling me from young la..Blar blar blar and its always my dad's fault for everything....

So, i had to do a last min change of witness on the actual day to make sure the ROM goes thru!!

In conclusion, i think many of those who are in the process of getting married should not have gone thru what did. It should be a lot more easier and smoother.

My point is:

Like i always said, with the benefit of hindsight, i am able to tell you what i feel is the most important or the way out of such situtions.

You do need to know how to handle the objections and the questions from your family members. It may be telling them the truth about how you know her and where you know her, and hope that the will be able to accept your decison. Or it may be telling a 'white lie' as to where and how you met her. For me, i used a combination of both - a bit of truth and a bit of 'white lie'. At the end of the day, you have to be ready to answer to your family for they are the most important people in your life.

Remember! your job is not to antagonise either your family or your wife. It is to reconcile the differences, the cultural gap and the prejudices. Using some time to educate and meeting up more helps to build up the relationship between family and wife.

Why i say so is because, although i had a torrid relationship with my mom in the beginning of the relationship with my wife, everything is fine now. Its all about communication, understanding one another and knowing the point of view of your family. Talk to one another to work out the worries and concerns. It is the best way towards a harmonious relationship.

Today, my mom is on good terms with my wife and me. They often go shopping together and occasionally buy things for each other....(but never buy for me!!!)....I must say this is something that is wonderful and i sincerely hope all bros with VN wives will be able to enjoy such wonderful relationship between mom and wife!!

Cheers!!

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by casannova03

...Continued

Challenges 2 - Coping with YOUR family (Part 2)

..............
Today, my mom is on good terms with my wife and me. They often go shopping together and occasionally buy things for each other....(but never buy for me!!!)....I must say this is something that is wonderful and i sincerely hope all bros with VN wives will be able to enjoy such wonderful relationship between mom and wife!!

Cheers!!

Nice to hear that everything is peaceful in the family...keep it coming...next episode please....

[Cheunn Jai]

Saw this -
However, after that day, she keeps pestering me not to go there and drink everyday. i did not know why she was doing this. I felt sad and all the more i wanted to go and see her. however, i continued my daily ritual of sending her to and fro work.Such was my frequency at the pub that staffs there all knew about me.. even till today when i pop in once in a while they will ask about my wife.. anyway, the more i went there, the more unhappy she was.....Well, at this point, i will highlight what many bros must have felt, myself included.(doubt starts to set in)

And expected this -
She laughed " you virgin ah? first time have girlfriend is it?? which girl want the man they like to see them being touched and hugged by another man?? We know you can accept because you never say anything but she cannot accept ma...understand xiao di di???

Most people send and fetch to make sure that things are going alright and also to tell themselves that once out of the joint, everything is left behind. What they do not realises is that by doing its also a sign that says "I endorse your presence".

Nice ending! Gratz you found happiness, I lost my 1st gf of 4yrs before I ROD too.

[besafe]

Brother Casannova
Received sms today from her that she is pregnant with baby (not mine of course) and will not be able to see me for a long long time.
That was certainly good news for me, as I was pondering how to tell her that I am not seeing her anymore.
What a sigh of relief ! Thanks for the advice on scoring an offsite goal. I don't think I will want to do that again.
Take care.

[casannova03]

glad things turned out in your favour!!

Anyway, look ahead and walk on...its what you do from now on that counts!

[wuzz]

Hi bro, can I talk with u in private

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Why i say so is because, although i had a torrid relationship with my mom in the beginning of the relationship with my wife, everything is fine now. Its all about communication, understanding one another and knowing the point of view of your family.

How did ur wife communicate with ur family? Mandarin or English or? She made an effort to study or she already knows the language?

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Snuber

How did ur wife communicate with ur family? Mandarin or English or? She made an effort to study or she already knows the language?

His wife study in Sillypore since 2003....should be able to speak English and Mandarin by now...

[ganbei]

Its sad to know that you had a hurricane marriage. But its glad to know that you have weathered the storm. Adversity makes Man. Between man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by wuzz

Hi bro, can I talk with u in private

sure! send me a private msg!