Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 842

etsys · #**12616** 05-02-2021, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newyorker88

Denis Rodman is a basketball star, famous for his tattoos all over his body.

One day he had a new girlfriend. He took off his shirt n his body has NIKE written on his chest. He then took off his pants. On both left legs written PUMA, n UMBRO. Then he took off his underwear, the gal screams

She says “ you have AIDS”!

Rodman says “when it gets big, it will spell AIDIDAS”

The original joke something like this ..

NO offense

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal.

To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon. We have great beaches, great ladies, and great sun, mon! Have a nice day.'"

etsys · #**12617** 05-02-2021, 04:39 PM

some contribution

hope not posted here before

dyelook · #**12618** 05-02-2021, 06:50 PM

laughter bumps...

Emollo · #**12619** 06-02-2021, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by etsys

Singapore's cabinet is even better, minister can sleep during parliament. Guess who? The one and only gan silang sia suay cotton-is-from-sheep Trade and Industry minister

SBMEDSUP · #**12620** 06-02-2021, 05:53 AM

Support more jokes.

Hurricane88 · #**12621** 06-02-2021, 05:54 AM

*This is a good one*

RETIRED HUSBAND

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,
from the local Wal-Mart

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

5. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

6. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

7. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

8. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

9. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.

If you don't send this to your dearest friends; You will be depriving them of some good humor.
*Enjoy Life - It has an expiry date..*

Hurricane88 · #**12622** 06-02-2021, 05:58 AM

35cents · #**12623** 06-02-2021, 09:33 PM