People Are Forgetting Something Important In Benjamin Lim’s Suicide

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

In the Benjamin Lim blame game, we fail to discuss this important subject.

Most of the news I read in the past couple of days was whether the police’s treatment of Benjamin the day of his suicide caused him to jump, if the Ministry of Home Affairs is covering its backside, or whether The Online Citizen opportunistically used his death as a lever of anger against the police.

But in this blame game, besides harping on the procedures, who did what and who said what, we are losing a huge opportunity to have a nationwide discussion on why people commit suicide.

There are about 400 suicides and another 1000 attempted suicides, per year from 2000-2014.

What makes a person want to kill himself? Is life in Singapore really so bad?

Those who have never contemplated suicide may not understand the turmoil and trauma that suicidal people experience. I want to change that.

I’m not a psychologist nor philosopher, but I’ve been there before, wavering between deciding on the value of life, and the value of ending it. This is what I went through. It may be different for each suicidal person, but I hope my sharing helps those who criticise Benjamin’s actions to understand a bit more about the feelings and thoughts that possibly went through his head, and whether there was any chance things could have been different.

1. It can be hard to tell who is suicidal

Suicidal people may not tell anyone that they want to end their lives. Sometimes it’s a surrender to their assumptions that no one can truly understand them, they cannot express the depth of their suffering in mere words, and they can’t handle ridicule and scepticism from their loved ones who may not take their feelings seriously.

2. It is an accumulation of many setbacks, not just one

Suicidal people may not be daunted by one major setback, but because their lives have recently accumulated multiple failures, disappointments and obstacles to future happiness, it is easy to tip them over the edge with just one more negativity.

3. Suicidal thoughts come and go, and they usually have a root in the person’s mind even before the tipping point comes along

I’m not sure about others, but I had long internal debates with myself about the point of staying alive, before moving onto thoughts about suicide, and how I would get it over and done with quickly.

Would I need to write a will or farewell letter before I went (I actually did), what kind of wake/funeral arrangements would I want and how to tie up loose ends?

I think that a suicidal person would most likely have contemplated the consequences of suicide and planned for it, before something comes along to hasten the final decision.


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